Coaching Message: Changing any Negative Emotions that get in the way of Success
While working on your Financial Vision and goals, I’m sure that you realize that you are solely responsible for the successes that you gain in your life. Unfortunately, countless men and women go through life grumbling and complaining about earlier, unhappy experiences, and blaming their problems on other people and circumstances. Many people are angry about something that one of their parents did or did not do) 20, 30 or even 40 years ago! They are trapped in the past and can’t get free.You’ll find that the greatest enemies to happiness and success are negative emotions such as: fear, self-pity, envy, jealousy, feeling of inferiority, and ultimately anger. Negative emotions of all kinds hold you down, tire you out and take away all your joy in life.
“A man, as a general rule, owes very little to what he is born with – a man is what he makes of himself” -Alexander Graham Bell
We believe that negative emotions have done more harm to individuals and societies than all the plagues of history. If you want to be truly happy and successful, one of your most important goals should be to free yourself of negative emotions.
Most negative emotions are caused by four factors. Once you identify and remove these factors from your thinking, your negative emotions will stop automatically. The positive emotions of love, peace, joy, hope and enthusiasm will flow in to replace them and your whole life will change for the better.
The first root cause of negative emotions is justification. You can only be negative as long as you can justify to yourself and others that you are entitled to be angry or upset for some reason. If you cannot justify your negativity, you cannot be angry.
As long as you continue to justify negative feelings, your negative emotions will control you and absorb much of your life and energy. As soon as you stop justifying your negative emotions you will become calm, clear and focused on your goals, as soon as you stop justifying, you will become a more positive and effective person.
The Second root cause of negative emotions is rationalization. When you rationalize your attempt to give a socially acceptable explanation for and otherwise socially unacceptable act. You rationalize to explain it away or to put a favorable light on something you have done that you feel bad or unhappy about. You excuse your behavior or actions by creating an explanation that sounds good even though you know that you were an active agent in whatever occurred. This rationalizing keeps your negative emotions alive.
Rationalization and justification always require that you make someone or something else the source or cause of your problem. You cast yourself in the role of the victim and you make the other person or organization into the oppressor or “bad guy”.
The Third root cause of negative emotions is an over-concern or hypersensitivity to the way that others treat you. For some people their entire self-image is determined by the way others speak to them, or about them or even look at them. They have little sense of personal value or self-worth apart from the opinions of others. And if those opinions are negative for any reason; real or imagined, the victim immediately experiences anger, embarrassment, shame, feelings of inferiority and even depression, self-pity and despair.
The Fourth root cause of negative emotions ,and the worst of all, is blaming. The antidote for negative emotions of all kinds is for you to accept complete responsibility for your situation. You cannot say the words “I am responsible” and still feel angry. The very act of accepting responsibility cancels out any negative emotions you may be experiencing. You can free yourself from negative emotions and begin taking control of your life by simply saying “I am responsible”
It is only when you free yourself from negative emotions, by taking complete responsibility; that you can begin to achieve goals in every area of your life. It is only when you are free mentally and emotionally that you can begin to channel your energy and enthusiasm in a forward direction. This is why without the acceptance of complete responsibility, no progress is possible. On the other hand, once you accept total responsibility for your life, there are limits on what you can be, do and have.
-From now on refuse to blame anyone for anything past, present or future.
-From this point forward, refuse to make excuses or to justify your behaviors. If you make a mistake say “I’m sorry” and get busy rectifying the situation.
Every time you blame someone else or make excuses you give your power away. You feel weakened and diminished, you feel negative and angry inside. Refuse to do it.
-To keep your mind positive: refuse to criticize, complain about or condemn other people about anything. Every time you criticize someone else, complain about something you don’t like or condemn someone else about something they have done or not done; you trigger feelings of negativity and anger within yourself and you are the one who suffers. Your negativity does not affect the other persona at all.
Being angry with someone is allowing him or her to control your emotions and often the entire quality of your life.
Positive emotions of love, excitement, happiness and enthusiasm make you feel more powerful and more confident.
Negative emotions of anger, hurt or blame can make you hostile and unpleasant to be around.
Once you decide to accept complete responsibility for yourself, your situation and for everything that happens to you; you can turn confidently toward your work and the affairs of your life. You become the “Master of your fate and the captain of your soul”.
Never put roadblocks in the way of success. To fully take charge of your life, develop your own strategic plan for your life.
Your next workout is broken down into five parts;
- Begin overcoming negative emotions in your life that will keep you from achieving your goals. Identify your biggest problem or source of negativity in life today. In what ways are you responsible? Make a list of your answers.
- Resolve today to stop blaming anyone else for anything and instead accept complete responsibility in every area of your life. What actions should you be taking? Make a list of your answers.
- Stop making excuses and start making progress. List some of your favorite excuses. Now, imagine that they have no basis and act accordingly.
- See yourself as the primary creative force in your own life. You are where you are and what you are because of your own choices and decisions. What should you change? Make a list of your answers.
- Lastly, make a list of anyone you need to forgive in your life. Now, resolve today to forgive anyone who has ever hurt you in any way. Let it go! Refuse to discuss it again. Instead, get so busy working on something that is important to you, that you don’t have time to think about it again.
When you complete this process, you are going to love the way you feel!
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Thank-you for reading.